Nisreen
Stories & Poems

I Wonder

I watched the sea— the luster of the scorching sun swaying on its smooth sheet; a proud swan, a beautiful ballerina, calm, majestic, everlasting. I wondered. I caught the murmur of its ceaseless music— that in many sleepless nights, when the world was silent and I was all alone, I heard the cadence of its murmur, and it elevated me. The waters shifted before me— the waves crashing and jostling, an angry, mythical beast, furious and relentless. I wondered. That in many sleepless nights, when the world was silent and I was all alone, I heard the clamor of its roars, and it haunted me. I observed the morning sky— silky blue, radiantly glowing, warm and lustrous. I traced the sky at night— a pearl necklace, a glittering gown, magical, silent, near. I wondered. That in many sleepless nights, when the world was silent and I was all alone, I heard the melodies of its whispers, and it elevated me. The morning light paled— veiled and teary, cold and raging. I faced the sky at night— starless, moonless, dark, mourning. I wondered. That in many sleepless nights, when the world was silent and I was all alone, I heard the pain of its shrieking, and it haunted me. A touch of breeze brushed my cheek— soothing and reassuring, a scent of blooming flowers, the smell of the first spring shower. I wondered. I drew in the song of the breeze— a dancing leaf, a chirping bird, lovers' names carved on the bark of trees. That in many sleepless nights, when the world was silent and I was all alone, I heard the tune of its song, and it elevated me. Then I felt the stormy wind, bitter and unbridled— a broken tree, a quivering sea, a woman wandering through the years, searching for a long-lost lover. I wondered. That in many sleepless nights, when the world was silent and I was all alone, I heard the agony of its growling, and it haunted me. Is it all part of me, and I part of it? A bright side—pure and white, confident and right. A dark side—flawed and raw, scared and terrified. I wonder what effect it all left on me, that I stand here now, in the bustling of the day, and still— in the silence, it all comes back. I wonder.

— Nisreen Khaldi —

Grateful I Am

Grateful I am, Though the sun did not shine today, It was gloomy, cold and grey. Grateful I am, For the drop of rain That washed and sprayed The dry and wrinkled petal of the flower Standing lonely day after day. Grateful I am, Despite the sadness that on my heart does weigh, Despite the sorrow that does not seem to go away. Grateful I am, For I am still able to stand and pray, Appreciate life despite the decay. Grateful I am, That despite all the pain I felt yesterday, And still feel today and every day. Grateful I am That I can still feel the breeze That steals its way through the half opened window To bring me a whisper, from a beloved who has long passed away. Grateful I am, For the sun, the moon, the day, the night. Grateful I am, For a child, for health, for sight, For with everyday light Finding you beside me, Holding my hand so tight, Smiling at me, reassuring me, Walking with me and with every stride, Making me feel that everything Will be again alright. Grateful I am, And will always be, For with every cloud, with rain and thunder heavy, A day will come that will no doubt be sunny.

— Nisreen Khaldi —

The Promise

We were small but had big dreams We walked together in every green field We carved our names on every blooming tree We weaved our hopes with every dream. I swayed with you with every breeze I looked into your eyes to seize A second, a minute, a lifetime, Where I am with you and you with me! One day you left me with all the pain You did not even try to explain I ran behind you and called your name I pleaded for you to stay and remain But I only heard my echo again. I dreamt of the day that we'll reunite For that day I waited and waited, I had my hopes, I had a fright, Until all my hopes faded and faded. I looked for you in the green fields I visited every blooming tree I asked about you every breeze But had no answer to cool the heat. My dreams grew smaller The fields became bare Our names faded on every tree Our hopes vanished with every dream. I became lost with every breeze Searching for your eyes to seize A second, a minute, a lifetime, Where I am with you and you with me!

— Nisreen Khaldi —

Farewell

He said "farewell, I will go to war, I promise, I won't go too far, I won't stay long I won't break your heart Wait for me! I will eventually come back to you! Don't cry my love! I want to remember your lustrous eyes, Your assuring love will keep me alive!" She had to hold the tears in her eyes, She wanted him to remember the lustre, the longing, She wanted him to realize That she will wait for him, She wanted her assuring love to keep him alive: "I will wait," she said, "you will always stay in my burning heart, May God protect you and keep you alive." She saw him leave She felt the tear engrave its way On her cheeks, Migrate across her chest, Penetrate her heart Loading it with sorrows and groans "Ahh!" she said! She looked at her three kids, Standing beside her Small and innocent A big load for her alone. He sent her letters: "I am fine," he wrote, "dreaming of you, Of my kids and my return. Can't wait to see you, It's not far now!" One year passed, Two years passed, Still counting the days Still waiting for his return. His letters stopped, She no longer heard or received A word, a letter or even a line. But she did not lose her faith. "He promised to return" she would say. "I will wait for him till the last breath, Till my last day!" It was that the sun rose and set again It was that the moon became a crescent and full again It was that winter came cold and freezing again It was that the trees became bare again and again, Until her own eyes grew dim, And she called her children close, Whispering his name Like a prayer she never abandoned. "Tell him — if he ever comes — That I waited. That I never stopped believing. That he was always My burning heart's only flame." And she closed her eyes. It was not long after That footsteps appeared at the door — Heavier now, slower, Eyes carrying a darkness Even war could not explain. He stood at the threshold Looking for her face In every face. "Where is she?" he asked. And the children — now tall, Who had only known him through her waiting — Could not speak. He found her in her silence, Took her cold hand in his, And wept the way soldiers never do. "I told you I would come back," He said to no one. "I told you it wasn't far."

— Nisreen Al-Qutob Khaldi —

The Lost Dream

I was with you last night I held your hand so tight, I looked at your face with delight You were the world to me, the light. You promised to love me I promised to die for you You promised to stay with me I promised to leave everyone for you The moon looked pale beside your face The stars stood still in the space But you were like a flower in a vase You were a lifetime captured in a brace However, that was just a dream I woke up in a fright and scream For in this world Nothing is like what it seems I tried and tried With all my might To make things right But whatever I did It just failed and fell apart. They have always said It will come to the best But what I cannot comprehend Is what I found at the very end You gave me a smile I gave you a laugh You gave me love I gave you my heart I gave you a flower You took the thorn Struck it in my heart and tore I bled and bled and you asked for more.

— Nisreen Khaldi —